I was very anxious about the first day of daycare. We had been so lucky because John's mom agreed to keep Caleigh for us for a month before sending her to someone we don't didn't know. I felt much more comfortable leaving my 6 week old with Nana...that's for sure! :) I had been anxiously awaiting Halloween to come that's for sure. It was nice to have my parents come in for the surprise visit because it took my mind off of the following day.
The first day leaving her with Nana was a little emotional...I got a little teary-eyed, but once I was in the car driving I was so consumed with what I had to get done at school that I pushed leaving her to the back burner. I felt like a crummy mom because I wasn't as emotional as people say you will be. It is so hard to balance expectation with reality. It seems like people constantly talk about the wonderful things and fail to mention the not-so-great things, which leads one me to have difficulty when I experience something. But then again...this happened when we got married, too! Thank goodness I had someone to talk to about getting married! Now, I'll be able to return the favor when she has her own little ones! I knew with the day of leaving her with someone I didn't know would unfortunately would come...and it seemed to come quicker than expected. I didn't know how I would react and I think that made me more nervous that the actual act of leaving her. As I drove to Faith Lutheran, I was overwhelmed with emotion. I was sad that she was growing up so fast, scared to leave her, afraid to trust someone to take care of her, and devastated that I wouldn't be able to get pictures of my precious little girl throughout the day (Nana definitely spoiled me with that!). As soon as I got there, I once again was overwhelmed with everything that needed to be done...bringing in the box of diapers, box of wipes, the formula, the bottles, the extra clothes...and facing the unknown. Thank God for giving me something else to focus on! I took several pictures and gave many kisses...
and then it was time to head to my meeting at school (of course we have a meeting that I have to be at early the day I leave her at daycare for the first time! Ms. Wendi is amazing! Once I was comfortable with her, I knew that everything would be okay. I didn't cry like a baby (no pun intended!)...which once again upset me more than actually leaving her. I guess I just felt like if I was leaving her somewhere I didn't trust I shouldn't be leaving her. But I have all the faith in the world in Ms. Wendi! I know that she is in a good place and they take care of our precious little gift. I tend to block out the fact that she may have to cry a little more before getting attention because as a teacher I understand that she may be the world to me, but her teachers have more than just one that is the world to them. John texted me that he was about to go pick her up and I think he was just as excited as I was! As soon as John got her in the car, he sent me this picture! I was working late because I had my observation that Wednesday and had to get ready for it because John had class the night before.
No comments:
Post a Comment